im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
someone owes me an orgasm
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
