4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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