Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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