I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Drunk is a universal language darling
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Someone signed my nipple.
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