just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
