i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
