so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
