Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
