Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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