i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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