This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize