I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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