Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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