Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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