saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
