I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
