I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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