capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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