OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
