I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
