but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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