I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
