I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
