it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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