you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
the raccoons are back...
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