he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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