if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize