woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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