i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
