you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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