I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
