ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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