at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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