sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
