There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
