you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
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