If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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