They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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