so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
