Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
