I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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