This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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