i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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