she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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