the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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