what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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