I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"