Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.