Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Send us your Text From Last Night!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again