Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
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my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.