why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.