There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.