Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Swine flu. Run for my life!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My liver just broke up with me...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I