i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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