I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..