I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.