Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...