He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.