Texts From Last Night

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we

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(617): We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we http://tfl.nu/nsr3

Replies (14) Good night (3535) Bad night (760)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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(908): Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold http://tfl.nu/axfw

Replies (24) Good night (6469) Bad night (866)
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(805): View more from California

Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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(805): Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order. http://tfl.nu/u5vw

Replies (16) Good night (3988) Bad night (748)
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(734): View more from Michigan

You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.

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(734): You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/aenv

Replies (34) Good night (3823) Bad night (1362)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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(918): New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be? http://tfl.nu/0zp1

Replies (17) Good night (5470) Bad night (1301)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.

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(313): I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays. http://tfl.nu/hsxj

Replies (12) Good night (932) Bad night (3866)
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(214): View more from Texas

Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.

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(214): Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/dqjd

Replies (36) Good night (6245) Bad night (618)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

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(856): just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better. http://tfl.nu/p7cf

Replies (28) Good night (8085) Bad night (929)
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(352): View more from Florida

Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?

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(352): Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose? http://tfl.nu/yztp

Replies (23) Good night (4802) Bad night (828)
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(702): View more from Nevada

You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

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(702): You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year http://tfl.nu/juhc

Replies (45) Good night (4937) Bad night (801)
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(205): View more from Alabama

we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

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(205): we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit. http://tfl.nu/3r6b

Replies (14) Good night (5025) Bad night (749)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada

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(616): Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada http://tfl.nu/8u25

Replies (29) Good night (1615) Bad night (4569)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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(317): I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers http://tfl.nu/7izq

Replies (31) Good night (5521) Bad night (751)
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(408): View more from California

We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.

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(408): We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old. http://tfl.nu/3zai

Replies (17) Good night (5950) Bad night (882)
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(917): View more from New York City

No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.

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(917): No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list. http://tfl.nu/e3d0

Replies (22) Good night (4957) Bad night (668)

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