what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?