Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin" http://tfl.nu/dw59

Replies (12) Good night (666) Bad night (5335)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust http://tfl.nu/l0ps

Replies (10) Good night (3624) Bad night (908)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

(1-903): View more from Texas

What does that even mean?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna

Replies (30) Good night (1228) Bad night (5140)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick. http://tfl.nu/wm19

Replies (9) Good night (599) Bad night (4134)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

do you want me to make hamburgers?

(541): View more from Oregon

i'm vegan

(209): View more from California

i'll put lettuce on them

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): do you want me to make hamburgers? (541): i'm vegan (209): i'll put lettuce on them http://tfl.nu/hb72

Replies (37) Good night (7606) Bad night (1009)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love http://tfl.nu/tjul

Replies (51) Good night (19932) Bad night (842)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to. http://tfl.nu/oxy7

Replies (3) Good night (3034) Bad night (522)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world. http://tfl.nu/0x21

Replies (23) Good night (5112) Bad night (642)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes http://tfl.nu/v030

Replies (14) Good night (1459) Bad night (4635)
Favorite
(810): View more from Michigan

kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(810): kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking. http://tfl.nu/av4y

Replies (34) Good night (8888) Bad night (801)
Favorite
(416): View more from Ontario

She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic. http://tfl.nu/pwae

Replies (10) Good night (3393) Bad night (1488)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

(260): View more from Indiana

Good luck with that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me. (260): Good luck with that. http://tfl.nu/2zv5

Replies (31) Good night (1145) Bad night (2941)
Favorite
(276): View more from Virginia

Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(276): Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face http://tfl.nu/0y76

Replies (7) Good night (3987) Bad night (823)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/xgvv

Replies (42) Good night (5352) Bad night (789)
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis. http://tfl.nu/wydm

Replies (16) Good night (4480) Bad night (692)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: