What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.