The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.