Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough