4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
where are you?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory