you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.