I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.