I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.