You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.