It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.