also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong