I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.