I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....