there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.