We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.