Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.