Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
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Perhapse a negative STD screening would be better, ya ho-ho-ho!
Thank you, my pets...I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy. Come on, little Squishies.
Holy fucking puke!! Send them some big boy panties while you're at it!!!
Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills. Is the good feeling gone?
Pets? Squishies? Waiter, check please!!!
Didn't get the reference, cute, for another site maybe. Can we please get back to puke and dick jokes now please?
Dick jokes... Sure, drop your pants! Lol!
Even the largest of organs will seem small if you put it in a cathedral honey....
Lol! Real men find it to be a tight fit... Are you sure you've hit puberty or are you like the "fun size" version of a real candy bar?
Like the" real men" that respond to being called your pet and squishy? Yeah, I guess I can't compete with that. I'm big enough to not feel a need to brag about size or exploits. Wait till I hit puberty though and things could change.
LMFAO!!! You're so much fun to play with!
It's from finding nemo, google "I Shall Call Him Squishy".
I can't help but think of a priest facefucking a nun as she gags and pukes all over his junk. Wtf.
Catholicism F'd you up man!!! Stop now, I'm afraid it's going to turn into an alter boys true confession!
Who has hookups on their holiday shopping list?
You should also let them know you did test positive for herpes though. It's the gift that keeps on giving!
Merry Syphlis and a Happy Gonnoreah.
too bad the STDs will last a lifetime, nice work being the holiday slut
Justin Beiber is going to be sooo relieved!
Send 'em some condoms too
Christmas has lots of Ho's!
Should probably send them photos of your std screenings too...
Did Hedonistic just make a Ratchet and Clank reference? :)
If that's the case, save the picture. A bj will suffice
Hedonistic- again you win! \nMy first laugh of the day out of this lame ass app... Lol
Thanks sweetie; I am only here for your amusement.
Nice Dory quote Hedo