That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
