I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real