So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"