You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?