he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
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In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.