You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired