Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.