he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.