Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
