we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality