my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Send us your Text From Last Night!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.